School has started...time to get busy

Kyra is in the 4th grade and loves it.  Megan is in the 3rd grade and loves it.  Jacob started Kindergarten and loves it, but I think he loves riding the bus most of all. 

Kyra has nightly homework out of "a huge math book" and so far she seems to be doing just fine.  Megan is repeating a lot of stuff that she learned last year, but that's what the first week is for anyway.  I think Jacob is just thrilled to be doing anything really.  He has come home with several alphabet papers and practice sheets for writing.

Ethan is lonely.  He's adjusting to being on his own, but still wants to know when Jacob is coming home.  So far he has been awake before the other three and so he gets to "hang out" with them some before the bus comes. 

I am still adjusting.  Jon is off from work until next Tuesday and so I can't really get into a groove until then.  My time was quickly filled with an additional church calling.  I'll now have a total of 3 jobs.  Yay me!  I'm kind of excited though.  I like all three of them, so it shouldn't be too difficult to handle. 

Here's to an excitingly busy school year!

'twa the night before school started...

I'm giddy.  Like a kid on Christmas Eve that can't sleep.  I'm so excited for the kids to go back to school!  I must admit though, that tonight was the first night I started to worry about Jacob.  It's not what is going to happen once he is in his classroom that bothers me, it's what will happen on the way there and the way back home. 

My big guy is a sensitive big guy.  He's not afraid to voice an idea or opinion.  This has me worried.  The school bus can be a scary place.  I'm really hoping the girls will take him under their wing and help him get to where he needs to be and stick up for him if he gets himself into a tight situation. 

For some reason, I didn't get emotional when Megan left on the bus for the first time...I knew that Kyra was there to help her.  But honestly, I'm an emotional wreck with Jacob. 

I know I'll probably over-analyze this, but he's my buddy.  He's been there with me for a very long 5 years and I want him to have a good experience.  I don't want him to get his feelings hurt or for him to feel lost.  I want school to live up to his expectations.  I want him to want to go back.

So here I am.  It's the eve of at least another 13 years in the public school system, and with a deep breath I anticipate all of the joys and heartaches that come with it!

Motivation

I find it funny, or maybe the correct word is sad, that I can find the time and motivation to help everyone else and their house but I have no time or energy for me and my house.  So I guess the word is sad...it's so sad that I laugh because I don't want to cry about it.

So, I have decided.....

When the kids start school, I start taking time for me.  It will be easier because Ethan will be home with me while the other 3 are gone.  With just one child at home for a couple of hours I should be able to get a handle on "me time". 

I am setting a goal that I can get 30 minutes.  In this 30 minutes, I will do whatever I want...hopefully some kind of exercise.  It's a baby step.  And maybe someday soon exercise will have it's own time and I'll have my 30 minutes to do something else that I want. I mean, I'll have almost 4 hours with one child...I don't even remember what it's like to have 1 kid!

I may be a tad rusty, but I'm sure I'll find my groove!  So, without sounding conceited, HERE'S TO ME!!!!

**Warning** major complaining

I'm tired of summer vacation. 

It has become more of a summer stress than a vacation!  The kids are constantly bickering and getting on each other's nerves.  In fact, Jon was happy to go to work after 7 days off. I can't say that he and I are any better.  We try hard not to aggravate each other, or to let things bug us, but our patience is wearing super thin!  Maybe it's just me, but this summer vacation seems to be exceptionally long.  It really isn't, but since we did our major trip the weekend before school let out and then finished it up the week after, we seem to have nothing to look forward to.  It doesn't help that we've also had van troubles that we are still recovering from paying.  I hate getting behind.  It always takes 3-4 times as long to catch up than it does to get behind.  And of course don't forget to throw birthdays and back to school supply shopping in the mix. 

Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with my kids.  I wish we could lay about all day long or go and do fun things everyday, but then what would the house look like?  What would that yard look like?  And what would be for dinner?  Oh wait, that's already a problem.  The kids refuse to help around the house. 

I've tried everything from taking away privileges to taking away property, and it doesn't help.  I've tried to help them and even bribe them to get things done.  Nothing.  Our garden was looking good and then we lost water from the neighboring fields that we use to irrigate.  Now, where my garden stands, there is a jungle of weeds mixed in with produce. oh yeah, and the water is back on...just in time to revive anything that may have a glimmer of life left.  And dinner.... well, we've had a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or hot dogs. 

Maybe I'm just in a slump.  I don't know.  I do know that I'm not motivated to help or to do anything.  It bothers me that I constantly look for other activities or needs that I can help with before my own.  I know how bad things look at my house, I know that Ethan wore the same outfit for 2 and half days before I forced him to change.  I just didn't care.  We didn't go anywhere, so if he was fine with it, I was too.

I thought about going out and starting to run again.  I wasn't any good or fast, but it did help me get out and have 30 minutes to myself.  That thought was quickly dimmed by the thought of having to change my clothes to get ready to go out.  I mean, I'd have to find those running shoes again.  And man, it's hot out. 

See how full of excuses I've let my life get?  I know I need to change my attitude.  I need something!  I need school to start!  19 days and counting!