a spiritual high

The last 2 weeks I've been on an emotional roller coaster.   (I'm NOT pregnant).  It's been an eye opening journey.  I've wanted to close my eyes several times and just whisper under my breath, "it'll be over soon" and just as I start climbing, I drop again. 

I mentioned in earlier posts that I've learned it's all about attitude.  I'd rather laugh than cry, but lately I'm laughing so much that I'm starting to cry. 

This afternoon I was driving up to my grandma's house to have a bbq with family and I was playing a new cd.  It's a compilation of EFY hymns from 2000-2009.  I love how the artists have arranged the hymns on this sc.  the last song is "There is a Green Hill Far Away".  I love this song anyway, but this time, as I sang along, I paid better attention to the words.

"We may not know, we cannot tell, what pains He had to bear, but we believe it was for us, he hung and suffered there."

Hearing and singing that again, reinforced the thought that it doesn't matter who we are or what station in life we have, we were all given the opportunity to return to our Father in Heaven.  We don't need to judge one another, we just need to love one another.  Jesus suffered agony for each one of us and gave us the opportunity to repent and return to our Heavenly Father.

This song made me cry, but in a good way.  It was just another reinforcement that sometimes bad things happen, but that they are only there to help us grow and develop the way that we need to in order to return.  We don't know what others are going through, and what things that Christ suffered for, we just need to acknowledge that He did suffer and made it possible for us to enter through the gate. 

This reminder has left me in a great mood.  One that I hope will carry me through the next days and weeks. 

better

Today was a much better day!  I have come to the decision (and it has taken me about 30.5 years) that I can't have control over everything.  I know this may sound like a "duh" moment, but I've really figured it out.  I've told me kids several times that they can't control what happens and sometimes they have to go through it and learn to deal.  "Oh well, it's got to happen" is what I'm known for saying.  It's time I start practicing what I preach!

Everything happens for a reason and that reason is experience.  They may be painful experiences or they may be very pleasant, happy experiences.  They may give me more gray hair, but that's what Clairol is for.  If I didn't have my drain pipe plug up, how would I know how to fix it?  If my van was done at the shop early, would I have been able to sew and complete projects? No.  I've learned to budget my time because of trials.  I may not be good at it, but it's possible. 

Due to this new-found wisdom, I've decided to live with this as my motto:

"It is what it is.  The only thing that matters is how you deal with it."

I've had many times in my life that something has broke down, been late, never showed up, or I didn't have enough money to buy it.  Because of these trials, I have become resourceful and creative.  I've also experienced personal trials that I may relate with others on a need-to-know basis.  These are dear to my heart and I know that how I dealt with them and what I've learned from them will be a benefit to those I share them with.

I'm thankful that I have a loving and patient husband who supports me through these experiences and that I also have a loving and patient Father in Heaven who gives me these experiences to build me up and make me a stronger person!

thoughts

Yesterday morning was a rough one, but had some soft spots.  Jacob woke up sick and decided to throw up all over the carpet, stairs and bathroom.  He did try to make it to the toilet, but a 5 year old who hasn't thrown up in a few years tends to forget how far the bathroom really is.  After that mess was cleaned up multiple times, I managed to solidify some plans for our trip to Salt Lake in a little over 2 weeks.  My brother is getting married and we are all going.  I was loving how great everything was working out. 

Then Ethan, who is recently potty trained, pulled me into the bathroom to show me a puddle on the floor.  No, he was not the cause of the puddle.  The pipe that my washing machine drains in to was clogged and water was all over the place and seeping under the walls.  Luckily it only took $3.47 to solve that problem and my washing machine is hard at work again! 

The girls were asked to sing in church on Sunday.  We've been practicing with a friend of mine and the girls were supposed to walk to her house tomorrow and practice, but it turns out that she was placed on bed rest today and won't be going anywhere.  PANIC!  Luckily I know several women who are talented an know how to play the piano.  Crisis averted and I'm sure they will do fine on Sunday!

There are other things that seem to turn life upside down.  I'm not looking forward to see what they are.  I open my mouth to express how happy I was that everything was working out and then wrenches start flying!    I think that this happens because I lose focus on what is important.  It's not about what or why things are happening, but how I handle these rough spots. 

I panic pretty easily.  I get an upset stomach and rather grouchy.  I'm not fun to be around when there are bumps in the road.  Lately I've had to learn to let go of some of the control.  Some decisions were made for me and all I could do was cope with it.  I learned to let go of that control and things weren't so bothersome.  But now some things are totally up to me and I'm not sure if I learned my lesson well enough.  I hope I did. 

I know this may seem like a long ramble, but I'm getting my thoughts out.  Anyway, here's to a less bumpy road in the next coming weeks and months.

Jacob is 5!!

Not my best attempt at a birthday cake...give me a break, it's Mother's Day!  And it's supposed to say "Happy Birthday Jacob", not "Hoppy Bi*thday Jacob".

  Dad is torching the candles...

His gifts:  Dinosaur books and cardboard cut-outs, Transformers, Dragon, Math practice book.  He was pretty excited!

Easter Eggs 2011

Great Grandma Shaw came over with Great Grandpa and watched the kids color their Easter eggs.  Grandpa stayed outside and soaked in the sun while watching Jon mow the lawn and do other "outside" stuff.  Grandma came inside and helped the kids pick which colors to use.  We had a total of 5 dozen eggs.  It's a good thing great-grandma took some home too! 

*Megan was at a friend's house and colored her eggs later that day, I just didn't have the camera*

 Jake trying to decide what other color to use.

 Ethan watching and waiting.

 Kyra wanted to have a "red, white, and blue" egg.  Very patriotic!

 Ethan thought he was done...so he posed for a pic, but then noticed that the other two weren't done yet and so he decided to add some more colors to the ones he had already finished.

 Who needs spoons or metal things to lift out the eggs?  Jake uses his fingers!

Finally finished and very happy!

Bathroom re-do

 The big window in the bathroom addition.  Ethan tried to pull the horizontal blinds up and completely snapped the end off.  Now I have dark brown curtains to keep the privacy of all who use the restroom.  (The smaller windows are frosted glass and just let the light in.)

 This is a photo of the new soffet.  This is the part that had the leak and we had to open it up. This was a mess to deal with, but it's done! 

 New light fixture above the vanity.  The old fixture held 9 bulbs.  Made me think of a celebrity dressing room...Very Bright!  This is much better!

Jon covered up the heating duct work that was just painted over before.  He built the soffet to cover it (on the left) and it just feels so much better!  The light fixture is new as well.  We needed a new exhaust vent and found this one that matched the fixtures we already had going.  This picture also is the best for the color I painted it.  I went with a green and brown theme with the different shades and a chrome/brushed nickel effect on the fixtures. I think that it makes the bathroom more peaceful/