Today I attended a baby shower for two first-time mommies. I loved sitting there oohing and aahhing over one baby and all the fun and cute clothes and blankets that were given to both. One of the things that we did was write down mommy advice for these two wonderful ladies and then we read them out loud so we all could hear.
We laughed at some things and nodded in agreement on others. It made me think of all the times I wished I knew what I was doing and realized that even though I have 4 kiddos, I still have no clue at what I'm doing.
I find it comforting when I talk to other moms and find out that they have the same stress I have. They might yell more than they want. They might not have as clean a house as they would like. Their kids cry and whine and pout just like mine do. These other moms cry at night, and don't get the sleep that they want and they go places with crumbs on their shoulders or on the seat of their pants. And it's OK! They also have great joys when their kids stand up for themselves and when they learn to go potty in the toilet. I'm thrilled when one of my kids remembers to say "thank-you" without being prompted.
My kids often ask how I learned how to do something, or how I know when they are fibbing or hiding something. I tell them that it was on the "mommy test" and I had to pass the test before I could be a mommy. The truth is, I just remember being a kid. I watch my kids more closely than they think. They were a part of me for months. I just KNOW them.
I know I am far away from being a perfect mom or even a great mom. But I do know that I am a good mom and that works for me. There isn't a book that works for every kid and and every personality. Learning to listen to the Spirit and working on living my life they way Heavenly Father wants me to is the best way I can think of to teach my kids and to be the mom that I want to be. It's a learning process. Sometimes the thing that worked all the time just doesn't and I'm back at square one.
By recognizing this and reminding myself that I'm doing a good job and that things are going to be perfect, I think I've made a lot of progress in my mommy education!
