I love it when Jon and I can have some good heart to heart conversations. It's always a confirmation to me that I'm moving in a positive direction and that we really are on the same page.
Last night was one of those times. We've (I've) had a lot of stress and drama with family members and the kids lately. At times I wonder why I put so much effort into all of it. Jon made the comment that I need to learn how to not care. I don't think that's possible, and I'm pretty sure he knows that it won't happen.
Because I care, I've had some experiences in my life when I made a wrong choice. Usually this happens everyday, but the severity of the consequences vary. If I had to pick a topic for this conversation, this would be it: "Choices and consequences".
When we make a choice, we know that there are going to be consequences. Some times we know what they are before we make the decision and in fact, that helps us to make the choice. Other times, we do not. And then there are times, when we let the "natural man" make the choice even when we know that the consequence will be harsh.
In any instance, we learn (hopefully) from the consequences. We learn whether to make the same decision again or to choose differently. There may also be times when we can help another person make the choice based off of the poor choices or mistakes we have made.
Sometimes we convince ourselves that we are doing good and helping when this really isn't the case.
Consequences, good or bad, are for our benefit. They are always a lesson. They will reinforce the good decision, or they will teach us from making the wrong decision again. This is where it is important to pay attention and to really learn.
Often I wonder if I would have learned the lessons from my consequences another way, without having to make the choices I made. If this was the case, there would be a lot less stress and disappointment in my life.
After having a great discussion with Jon, I've realized that even though I hate the choices I've made and wish that some of them hadn't been made, I am grateful that I've had the opportunity to learn the lessons that came from them. They have given me an experience that I might not wish on anyone else, but they have humbled me in a way I didn't know was possible. At the same time, I know that others will make the same poor choices. The experience that I have gained can be used to help those who are in the process of learning. I also think that the experience I've had and that others have from living through the consequences gives us the opportunity to step in when we notice someone headed down the same sorrowful path and hopefully prevent the pain.
I know I can't protect or prevent my friends and family from bad choices being made. I know that life is full of choices. This is all part of the plan of my Heavenly Father. And because He granted us agency to choose for ourselves, it is also necessary to have a Savior and Redeemer to save us from the awful consequences.
I am thankful everyday that my Heavenly Father and elder brother Jesus Christ saw fit to provide a way back to their presence. I am thankful for the opportunity of daily repentance so that I can be in harmony with what They want. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and wants me to return. I am a valued daughter of God and it is my responsibility to make the correct choices in my life to avoid the awful consequences. As much as He loves me, I know that He loves each and every person that has ever come to the Earth.
Without a consequence to our actions, we would have no need to be here on the Earth. This is our time to be tried and tested and I hope that through my humbling experiences, I can get to know more of my Heavenly Father.
I am thankful I can make choices. I am thankful for learning experience that I may not other wise have had. Through the refiner's fire, I can be made into something far grander than I would have thought possible. It can be painful, but is worth it in the end.
