Just some thoughts I've had recently

So here I am trying to figure out my little tag on the end of my blog.  It's really starting to frustrate me.  We'll see how long it lasts....... Ok, I think I have it now.

Have you ever sat and knew you needed to do something, but didn't want to admit to yourself that you did need to do it.  It's not an easy task.  Sometimes it's very painful and maybe a little scary.  There is fear of the unknown.  Fear of rejection.  Fear of upsetting someone or something.  You know that if you do it, life will be better.  Things will move forward.  You won't be stuck in a rut and spinning your wheels.

Lately, I have felt like I was in a rut.  It's hard to describe and honestly, a little painful.  What was keeping me there in that rut was fear.  I don't know why I was afraid, I just was.  I knew what the outcome would be.  I knew that I'd be happier if I would just push forward.  Why wouldn't I do it?  So I decided to study this out more.  I've pondered and prayed and pondered some more.  I've listened and tried to apply all that I can to my own life.

Lately, as I've listened to General Conference and lessons in church, I've realized that I was fearing the wrong things.  I was being shallow and superficial.  I didn't want to hurt anyone and I was keeping everything to myself.  In reality, all I needed to do was voice my opinion in certain matters.  I may have offended or hurt some people, but in the end it was beneficial to everyone.

I watched a movie about Emma Smith after General Conference last weekend.  In the movie, Joseph and Emma were talking about the lost 116 translated pages.  Joseph was in agony over the loss and told Emma that he had feared men more than God.  That line hit me like a load of bricks.

How often do we go about our daily lives trying to please everyone around us because we were/are afraid of how they will react?  In reality, we need to fear our Heavenly Father because He is our ultimate judge.  It doesn't matter what men think, what counts is what our heavenly Father thinks.  Heavenly Father loves us so much that he has given us laws to obey in order for us to return and live with Him.  There is safety in the laws given us.  When we do get caught up in the trivial-ness of the world, there is repentance that will bring us back into favor with our Heavenly Father.

A lot of people fear the process of repentance.  Lately, I have learned to embrace it.  If we are striving to make it back to our Heavenly Father's presence, we should not be afraid of what men say.  The more I study, the more I can see how much love there is for us.  The Lord will grant us mercy if we can take a few steps toward Him.

I shudder to think of how dark it would be if the gift of repentance was not given to us.  True repentance in all actuality is easy, if we know what we want from it.  When we are fearful of losing our place in Heaven, we should leap forward through the steps of repentance. 

I love the fact that I can study the words of the Lord in the scriptures and through the talks in General Conference.  I think that sometimes we take for granted the gifts we are given.  If only more of us could fully understand the potential we all have, wouldn't this life be so much easier!

The Lord wants us to be happy, just like I want my kids to be happy. When I set forth rules, I am bound by the consequences already established.  So too is our Heavenly Father.  He loves us, but we have consequences that come with our agency.

This is pretty long, and I'm sorry about that.  I just had some thoughts that I wanted to put down.  I know that I am going to try and live my life more in fear of God's judgment than the judgment of men.